Our Choices

We all have wondered how life would be if we had made different choices in life.

Today, like every day, I wonder how my life could have been different. Recently, my brother was in a show called "Taking Fire" on Discovery Channel that aired on September 13, 2016. This is a short clip of the show. If you haven't seen the show, I highly recommend seeing it.

The show really opened my eyes to a few things:

1. My relationship with my brother is non-existent.
2. I, as a civilian, don't really know what happens when a soldier is deployed. 
3. Family is irreplaceable.

My relationship with my brother is non-existent. Wow, that was really hard to write. I have always looked up to him. I remember visiting him at my dad's when I was younger and also when he was stationed at Fort Benning. I felt so close to him. That closeness broke in 2006 when I was angry with my father for some of the things that I felt were important to me at that time and he had missed. I took that anger out on my brother and his family. I never should have, but I was hurt really deep and I didn't think that they understood my pain. I thought the wound would heal from it. It's been 10 years since this has happened and we haven't spoken. I have tried and have never received a response back. I will continue to fight for this relationship. I know that I need to take it slow, especially with all that my brother and his family have to deal with, being a military family and all.


Civilian. Everyone that isn't serving in the military like myself. We see on the news all the time how soldiers are being deployed to different locations constantly. We have a picture of what it is like to be a soldier, but in reality we don't know anything. Seeing "Taking Fire" up close really shook my world, my whole perspective of what soldiers deal with on a daily basis. I cried every time I watched a new episode. Physically seeing raw footage of their daily lives, of my brother's life, really just took me back.

My entire life I have always wanted to be important to someone. I wanted to be acknowledged that I meant something. I was always so angry about the love that I wasn't receiving that I truly forgot about the love that I was receiving. I had so many people that really did love me and showed me on a daily basis. When I met my husband in 2009, he showed me that. He would tell me all the time, that the people that didn't want to be in my life wasn't really worth losing sleep over. I had him and our boys. It took me awhile to believe it, let alone understand it, but I did. My husband is my rock! I could not have asked for a better man to be by my side everyday. To me, he is irreplaceable as our my handsome young men.

Remember, even when you don't think someone cares, they do! Pray for our troops deployed and stateside. They fight for our freedom daily and deal with their own demons. Wrap your arms around one another. We need to come together now more than ever.